There something is calming about things that are out of our control. How the water we try to hold in our hands just slips through our fingers and we are saddened by the fact that the water is gone, but we are comforted–relieved–that we no longer have to hold anything in our hands.
I have felt the same way very much about this semester. About all aspects in my life ever since I returned. I became so tired of focusing on the parts of my life that gave me so much unhappiness. I let it all go. I let it all slip through my fingers because my hands could hold no longer. I didn’t want it all to dictate my life, because I can do whatever the hell I want with it.
I became comforted in the fact that every decision is mine to make, and that no one was forcing me to choose one. That I could block people out whenever I wished and restart. So commonplace has restarting become for me. Every day is a restart. I feel liberated.
a dweller's confessions 