11 months is a long time and it feels, honestly, very strange to come back writing semi-publicly. Good times followed the end of sophomore year and this junior year has become a divisive year for me. Divisive in many senses, but mainly in the emotional and internal senses. This is because I’m choosing this year to be my last year here on campus as I’m spending my impending senior year studying abroad.
Unlike my coming here, however, I’m somewhat better equipped with this decision. I have the experience of knowing the implications of making a brash decision without having carefully considered the alternatives. I am better acquainted with distinguishing my desire for wanderlust from my desire to escape. I know what it means to lose–and I know what it means to start from scratch, because those were the exact situations in which I found myself in September 2014. Since, there had been no reverse, no do-overs, but simply consequences, both good and bad. I hope that I can heed these admonitions myself from now beginning to look forward, because the future had always been an indistinguishable void for me, daunting and generally unpleasant to think about.
Life is happening fast and I hope that I can keep up ||