summary of the week (a rant, basically)

This week had went by more or less at a fast pace, but I still really glad that it’s over, and even more so that we have long weekend this weekend (thanks, Columbus). This week consisted of a midterm, lots and lots and lots of homework, skipping my English class (felt kind of obliged to because I’m taking it credit/no credit any ways), lungkot (sadness, mopiness, no real direct translation from the tagalog), being frustrated with my engineering classes, missing my french class that I could not take this semester (I don’t think the department will allow me to take the class any more), missing the Philippines and travelling in general, and reflection (lots of it).

I suppose that the highlight of this week had been my physio midterm that I took on tuesday. I think that I adequately prepared myself for the exam, but I certainly could have studied a lot more and guaranteed myself an A on it, but this class did not pressure me the same way that my last biology class did (cell and molecular bio). The test was completely fair, and I am also completely aware that I will have earned whatever grade that I get on that test (shooting for a A- for the best case scenario). I would be really surprised if I get lower than a B-… I am really sorry that you are hearing me get worried about getting a bad grade on my midterm…it’s just that I really am.

I really have become so sick of homework this past week. Literally, whether or not a day is successful for me is determined by the amount of homework that I get finished. I can perfectly metaphorise my relationship with homework as a game of cat and mouse—just as the cat gets close to finally catching the mouse, the mouse manages to speed up or the cat accidentally trips. When I manage to get work for one class done, I am rewarded with more homework from another class. I guess the worst part about this whole thing is that most of my classes just pile the work…especially my damn engineering class.

Get this—the class in credit/no credit, but the actual course consists of 3 (THREE, TROIS, TRES, TATLO) sections—lecture, conference and a useless 2 1/2 hour design portion. All this including weekly problem sets that take hours to do. That’s right, so much effort put in for such little gain. Perhaps the worst part of the course is how inefficiently structured it is for the actual students who are taking the course. We must learn so many programs by ourselves, and the only thing that they think we only need as assistance in completing this formidable task is a feckless tutorial that some useless and uncaring grad student was probably paid to create. The class seems like a joke that it’s completely the opposite of in reality.

This brings me to another class that I’m taking credit/no credit—English. To be precise, a class called “Devils, demons and do-gooders.” Yes, you can guess that it’s the title of the class that got me interested in the class…but you can say that I was “forced” to be interested in an English class because I still need one writing course to take before sophomore year ends, which is the only requirement here at Brown: that you take at least two writing courses—one in either your freshman or sophomore year, and the other in either you junior or senior year. If this hadn’t been a requirement, I guarantee you that I would not be taking this course right now. I am not very skilled at analysing literature to its bone, so I would rather leave that duty to the lovers of English who flourish in Poe, Melville, Milton and Shelly. If I were a lover of literature the way that my professor is, maybe I would have more enthusiasm in actually wanting to go to class, but alas, I am not (blame my genes? And also probably sparknotes).

Let me also add that taking this forced English class came at the expense of my registered french course… I was in accelerated french last year, and I was supposed to take advanced french this semester but I honestly could not handle a schedule of five courses. Every single one of the classes I’m taking are either required or required for my major, so that robbed me the pleasure of taking a class I was thoroughly interested in this semester. I feel in my gut that I made the right decision, but my mind keeps reminding me of the lost opportunity. Ah well, c’est la vie. Donc la vie marchera encore.

Taking so many classes that I have grown to dislike so much makes me wonder whether I will really choose the right major for me (biomedical engineering). A part of me wants to believe that the classes are just like this because they are “weed out” classes for the time being, and so the more interesting classes will be next year and later, just in general. But I can only convince myself so much and I can only hope so much. My thoughts are my weakness. I have a history of succumbing to my thoughts.

There’s still some time left for me to decide… but everyday, the decision draws closer and closer.

Of course, there’s also my lungkot , but I believe that you’ve already been acquainted with that if you have been reading my other posts lately.

3 thoughts on “summary of the week (a rant, basically)

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