with a healthy dosage of balance, we’re okay

Newton said it first (at least, probably): what goes up, must come down.

Although he evidently meant such an epiphany for his unfolding understanding of gravity, this little statement also sums up life in general—balance is the order of the day. You cannot have bad days without having had good ones, and vice versa; life is meant to reward and punish you for your efforts, reward and punish you for no reason at all, and at the end of the day, month, year, etc., you’ve all pretty much dealt with approximate equal amounts of both ups and downs. Then, it’s a matter of how we individually assess ourselves, having gone through these experiences, that define each of us and set us apart.

Are you happier now than how you were last year? last month? Why? I’ve noticed that college has really struck a chord with issues of self-evaluation, so I often find my thoughts drifting towards questions like these, questions that I almost feel embarrassed to answer regardless over whether I’m typing up answers or simply pondering them.

I feel embarrassed because sometimes, I know that I’m not happier. I know that there were so many more times in the past when I was genuinely happier than the circumstances that I find myself in this not-so-comfortably-warm dormitory. But then again, there is another saying—hindsight is 20/20. Thus, perhaps, I just think that I’m not happy now, when in a couple of years, I maybe in a worse state than I find myself here in this nippy room.

Or, perhaps, I might really be in an unhappier state, and later I’ll look back in hindsight and validate my current claim. Whatever it’ll be, I’ll just let the order of the day decide; I can at least manage to accept this decision and move on with my life, even if it isn’t all too satisfactory, because I can’t continue to spend my days worrying about my existential crises. School work is demanding and college unfortunately does not pity those faced with more internal, emotional struggles in the way that it does with struggles over students who actively decide to engage in detrimental activities. I find this dichotomy a bit irritating, but, getting back from that tangent, I’ll just sit by the apple tree and let life decide ||

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