contentedness or complacence?

I’m in a very content mood ( at least I think I am ) because today, I finished the last of my 3 midterms and I also got over with my half hour-long presentation for French. I think I did pretty well on both, considering that I didn’t read off a script for the presentation ( as like everyone else did ), so my speaking came naturally, and I actually found the midterm quite straight forward given that I didn’t really study for the exam. I’m taking the class credit/no credit, so basically I just have to do the bare minimum to pass the class and surprisingly, I’m okay with that. Now the question is if I actually did well on the exam or if I completely bombed it… oh, well. I’ll find out next week.

So now, I guess I’m back to normal. I can breathe yet another sigh of relief because this week is almost ending, and I’m happy that another small chaotic part of my life is in the past. This feeling has definitely made it worth it.

In other news, I booked my flight to South Korea for this summer with my sister!!! I’m completely stoked, because this is really the first time that we’ll be “backpacking,” even if it is just for a little while (5 days). The best part of this upcoming trip is that my sister has a close friend in Seoul, so we’ll be able to stay over in their loft for a couple of days, and she’ll be able to guide us around the city and take us to the REAL Seoul, if you know what I’m sayin’ 😉 Also, we’ll be arriving in Seoul from the Philippines, because that’s where my family will be staying for most of the Summer.

This summer, so far, seems like it’s going to be one of the best ones yet. I anticipate A LOT of travelling, eating, and just relishing the fact that I might not have another summer like this in a long while. While I do wish for this summer to come faster than I can finish this sentence, at the same time, I also want that summer take its leisure time. I want summer to take its time because the anticipation of summer is energising for me, and ironically, I feel that sometimes, the anticipation is better than the actual event itself! I’ve had this experience with many events in the past, so I’m also a bit apprehensive about hyping up this summer. I must maintain a healthy balance of being excited and being pessimistic in order to obtain maximum fun.

I’m not sure what this summer means for me, however—I’m referring to all the students here who are spending this summer keeping busy with intern-ships, collaborations with professors, or just classic school work. What will I be doing that will help my own future? I feel as though they are racing past me in this game of life, and that I have stopped to take a water break on the sidelines. I aspire to be as responsible and determined as some of these Brown students, but I really don’t comprehend how they can do so much. They truly are admirable in that sense.

Am I pre-emptively setting myself up for complacency? Or have I already reached this level of laziness? Have I favoured hedonism above responsibility? I’m afraid that I have, but I suppose I’m still trying to figure out what path in life I want to take—better—create.

I would like to delve into the great unknown and get my life started ||

One thought on “contentedness or complacence?

  1. To seek and explore the world hardly counts as complacency. The really interesting people I know are the ones who’ve journeyed off into the unknown, rather than chase the security of career.

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