I have to deal with myself first before I can even attempt to think about being with somebody else. This is precisely the reason why I cannot be in any sort of relationship with anyone, because I have internal struggles to deal with first, and I know in my bones that this is something that I can’t rely on the help of another person to help me change. This is the reason that I said that I think that I’ll never feel the same way with you, and I’m sorry that I cannot tell you this directly but instead have to resort to this blog for confession.
I don’t know if it feels unfair; I don’t know if it hurts greatly, or even if you were hurt at all, but I do know that I can’t be the person that you envision me as being even right now. Because like everyone else, we have multiple sides, but it just so happens that I’m a bit better at masking my flaws and my bad sides than other people, so this is why I think that I don’t deserve what you are willing to do for something that I honestly can’t be 100% sincere with. Like I said before, I cannot be with someone if I can’t even deal with myself. I’m already trying my hardest in order to make just a few good friends just to get by freshman year. All I really need right now is good friends and supporting company. I can’t handle something so fragile in nature when I’m fragile as well. We’ll both end up breaking.